Yasemin UYAR

It must be 2005 or 2006, I was reading a book and while searching some information about the writer, I found out that he had started playing the saxaphone at the age of 45. Although I’ve thought that I am by no means gifted for music (my reasoning behind this point is probably that I cannot sing), I had always been interested in music since my secondary school years. Actually, I always got good grades from my blockflute examinations, always participated in the school choir, and had always wished to be able to play a musical instrument. I stayed at the dormitory during my university years at the Administration Department in METU, and in those days, I used to turn the music on as soon as I woke up, and did not turn it off again until I was going to bed at night. If I loved listening to music this much, I thought that it must have been even more fabulous to play an instrument! Namely, the writer of that book had inspired me. I made some research, I got an instructor and we bought a flute for me. After I had got my flute, I had to wait for a week for my first flute lesson, what an incredibly long week was that! My flute stood there still, but I couldn’t! I started with my first instructer and we studied for a few months together but I was unable to go on. I was unable to practice regularly because I was having a hard time at work, I was very busy, so I was unable to progress sufficiently. Somehow, in a few months time, my lessons became rare and finally got to an end. After a couple of years, I decided to start over again. I had to learn to play the flute, because I loved it so much, I, too, must have been able to blow such fine tunes out of it. Even though I had not yet been able to develope my skills so much, those times that I held my flute in my hands were the moments of real happiness. This time, I started another course, but again with similar reasons, I was unable to continue regularly, and there came another period of silence which lasted about 6-8 months. This time I was about to give up definitely, I believed, I would not be able to accomplish this, by the way, I am not talented as well! Then I met Aslı. This time, I arranged the schedule of my classes for week-days so that I could attend regularly, and I did it. But, I really suffered from lack of motivation and confidence, because I had a record of a few unsuccessful trials behind. I had adopted some bad habits regarding with holding or blowing into the flute. All of these added up to pile with which Aslı had to fight really hard. But, first, she made me believe that I was not incapable, and this time I really worked regularly. After we had started the lessons with Aslı, I got a brand-new flute. In those days, a friend of mine once accompanied with me with the guitar, and then I realized that music is actually something social. It was becoming more beautiful when it was being shared. Yes, music, was inteed to be shared. After 6 months, Aslı introduced me with the Lirik Nefesler. Then I, once again, came to realize, internalize, and comprehend toroughly that “music should be shared”. To work with people who love the flute, to play, to fail sometimes, to realize the harmony later on, to listen while the others play, to admire them, to play again and again, to fail and to start over again, to listen to them, to listen again, and to look again…To spend effort for something together, and to do this starting from a common point…I loved all these. Moreover, to perform in front of those children, and watch them listen to you…Their bewildered looks as they wait for the strangers to play for them, their clapping, their waving to you, and their thanking to you…To do something for them, to feel the beauty in this sharing even though we do not know whatever actually takes place in their inner world…These are all very beautiful. I love the nature, the life, colours and music, and most of all, the flute.